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The dog has learned to neatly blanket itself. The blanket was on the floor in a heap before I went to sleep. Disturbingly smart.

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Anybody who trains will understand that throughout the course of a workout, it is very common to have to interact with somebody else.

"Excuse me, do you mind if I jump in with you for a few sets?"

"Excuse me, was anybody using this equipment?"

Arnold talks about the comradery of the gymnasiums he trained in in the 60’s and 70’s in his new book 'Total Recall' and how there was always a culture of unity, even amongst direct bodybuilding competitors. Now, we dont have anything vaguely similar to that and we arent even in competition. An interesting comment was about how the massive bodybuilders at Gold's gym, the premier location to train at the time, never bumped into eachother in such a confined space. They worked together.

But why it is such an issue for some people, I will never understand. For example, just this week, I was training chest and back, which involved supersetting, or going from a chest exercise, to a back exercise, with a short rest period after the completion of both. When we left to go and do our back exercise (deadlifts) we left behind an adjusted incline bench, with my water bottle on it, a gym bag directly behind it, and two sets of weights - 45kg dumbbells and 40kg dumbbells on each side of it.

Now, would you say it would be reasonable to assume that this bench was currently in use?

When I turned around to go back to our bench, a man in his late 40’s had, somehow, with assistance, put all of our weights back, moved our things away from the bench, and placed his towel on it. What the fuck? Why would you not wait around or ask somebody else if it was in use? Why would common sense not TELL you it was in use!? Considering the fact he was much older than me, he doesnt even have an excuse. If it was a strutting 18 year old eyeballing everyone I would not have been surprised. I wanted to go up to this guy and say to him: you cant seriously think that somebody wasnt using this. Whats wrong with you? Of course, not wanting to get into an argument with this old moron, we just took our weights back off the rack and relocated to another FREE bench that was available.

On another occasion, I asked this girl nicely if I could jump in and do some dips while she was just resting on the pads inbetween her sets on knee raises.

"Excuse me, do you mind if I quickly jump in and do a set of dips while you are resting?"

This particular station has thick grips which makes it slightly harder, and I prefer using it. The way she looked at me and said “what? ummmm….okay” told me I must the most unreasonable person in the world, and she ended up moving to the other dips station directly behind me. The part I dont understand is, we could have both used that station at the same time. Why did she feel the need to run away like I had just told her to fuck off? Or even if she had just said: “That’s okay, ill just use this station over here, I dont mind.”

I must admit though, this isnt a fair representation - there are a few out there that are pleasant to train with and will happily oblige. But it is quite clear to me this is now the minority of individuals, and it is probably going to get worse with increasing concentrations of filthy roider try-hards wearing AAA supplements merchandise, hyping up the latest fad supplements whilst trying to lift too much weight in an incorrect fashion.

Is this going to be the continuing legacy of the gymnasium environment going into the future? Only time will tell.

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So good. It wouldn’t matter if it didn’t have Arnold in it, id still listen to the song anyway, its awesome. Chool Parteh!

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Welcome to Essendon BJ. Shit just got real.

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Whats that? A monolithic object from space destined to penetrate the earths crust and destroy it from within? Nope, its just a box of Nutri-Grain. The first thing you will notice about a Nutri-Grain cereal box - the size. Look at the fucking size of this beast. I know you are probably thinking “Other cereals are in big boxes too” and that is definitely true. But you and I both know that when you see this in the supermarket isle, it looks the biggest. It just gives off that vibe of masculinity, even at first glance.

Looking closer, you will see that when this cereal was formulated, some time back in the 80’s, women were not even a part of the big picture. “What is the manliest fucking cereal we can make?”

This is what came of it. A blatant exclusion of females from the target market is a strange one, I still dont really get it. To tell the truth im not quite sure if women actually eat this cereal, I just think they might not on principle. It gives the image “When you eat Nutri-Grain, you just empty the carton of milk into the bag and shovel it into your mouth”. But maybe I am wrong. Lets look closer at the design.

NUTRI-GRAIN

CORN-OATS-WHEAT

IRON MAN FOOD

All of these are legitimately in capitals, and everytime I read it mentally, its in my loud man voice. It seems at home in the design of it all but when you take away “IRON MAN FOOD” and just type it, it does seem outrageously manly.

Just say it.

And, what is that on the side? fucking rivets? you thought correct, this cereal is so god damn out of control, the box is titanium-steel alloy and is RIVETED SHUT. But even these hardcore rivets were not enough to prevent the EXPLOSION of milk and nutri-grain pieces!

PROTEIN FOR MUSCLE BUILDING

CALCIUM FOR STRONG BONES

CARBS FOR ENERGY?

The last line is simple and to the point, but you almost come to expect it to say FOR RADIOACTIVE ENERGY.

YOU ONLY GET OUT WHAT YOU PUT IN.

And if you put in Nutri-Grain youll be practically leaking testosterone. So ive covered the looks of the outside, but lets look at the cereal itself. Looks normal, just a rectangular shape with holes in it. Right? According to published sources, even the cereal pieces are designed to look like cricket bats with holes in them. What? Obviously the guy bowling those balls ate Nutri-Grain because he EXPLODED HOLES IN THE BAT.

I dont think I need to go on much further in saying this cereal is only aimed at men. But why? Wouldnt you maximise its potential if it was aimed at both men and women? Maybe Kelloggs thought that “Special K” was their ace in the hole for the ladies. Now that I come to think of it, these two cereals in direct comparison are almost polar opposites. Even the “K” has been shaped in a feminine fashion.The cereal itself is soft and fluffy looking, and the white colour utilised on the box signifies a feeling of purity and cleanliness - in stark contrast to the cooked metal, bronze-iron feel of Nutri-Grain. 

But why should women not get to enjoy Nutri-Grain? Are they butch lesbians if they do? Why do they have to eat Special K? Whats the big deal? I mean, Nutri-Grain tastes awesome, there is no reason why they cant eat it. Maybe they already do, but its obvious Kelloggs doesnt intend to use Nutri-Grain to target women in the slightest, instead they deploy these two complete opposites in the cereal department - caught on opposing sides of the gender war, seperated by barbed wire and years of oppression. Perhaps we will never see the perfect amalgamation of masculine and feminine features in a cereal brand. There are alot of cereals sitting on the fence, though.

Corn Flakes is fairly neutral - but it has a cock (rooster) as the focal point of its design.

Rice Bubbles - again, neither here nor there.

Froot Loops - comes very close to equality, but again im fairly certain that the Toucan is a male.

Sustain - slightly manly.

Sultana Bran - I couldnt say. Probably the closest one yet.

I dont think I can be certain with anything from the Kelloggs range, but of course, if we stray to the other side - Uncle Toby’s immediately has the solution. Infact, Uncle Toby’s has a large range of gender neutral products.

But ask yourself this: why do they choose to strike neutral ground where others such as Kelloggs, have not?

I for one, will probably never understand. But it certainly entertains me everytime I walk through the cereal isle.

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What a life.

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Football!

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samueljmitchell:

26/09/12

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, as this is the place where wool has worth

Source: samueljmitchell